Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

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jess
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:24 am

Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by jess » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:09 pm

Can you please explain to me the differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency?)? Please, understand me right, I have a child already and now am facing infertility issues along with health problems which makes me to consider surrogacy for a second. Honestly, I hated being pregnant, though I love my child desperately. I fear, I will feel no connection with a baby if I don’t carry a child by my own. Did anyone feel like this during the surrogate pregnancy? What is the best way to undergo surrogacy? I know that it can be expensive and costs up to 150k in the USA… Are agencies useful at this point?

coby
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:11 pm

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by coby » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:13 pm

Oh Jess! Just because your baby isn't grown inside of you doesn't make you any less connected! Sometimes you just have to be a little creative! Nevermind! The womb is just a stopover- your child's life on this planet will be with you!!! Usually people undergo surrogacy don’t feel disconnected from their children, so don’t worry, as you have a child already, I’m sure that you know how to be a parent.

JessicaBright
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by JessicaBright » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:20 pm

It is totally okay, don’t worry, hun xx. You should just be ready for that emotionally. I can guarantee, that you will love YOUR child at the first sight, and I am sure your child can feel that. I finished a surrogacy journey 7 years ago in India. I am extremely grateful to a woman, who helped us out. I can tell you even if you're able to go indie in the USA (without an agency), the fertility fees, PGD, meds, monitoring appointments, medical insurance, and legal fees alone will add up quickly. Not to mention maternity clothes or anything else necessary for the pregnancy, that you should cover for your surrogate. Start saving now, start fundraising, look into second jobs is really my best advice. It's costly even without a compensated surrogate. So my advice is to find a country with well-regulated legislation of this issue, because is no longer an option. Good luck! xx

windmill
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:24 pm

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by windmill » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:25 pm

I am sorry that you're in this situation. I know the pain of wanting a child so badly and having the cost of surrogacy be so outside of your means. We were fortunate to have family step in after a few years and help us get together what we needed to go through an agency so we could be matched with someone. Going independent is an option, but there is a higher risk. Speaking about the agencies, you have to understand that it provides you a legal support. Imagine the situation, when a surrogate doesn’t want to give your child to you or imagine how much papers you have to read to do everything legally right. But agencies are not always the good choice. As for me, it’s not reasonable to address to the US agency, you’d better find something abroad. To avoid additional fees, try to find a private clinic that works like an agency. Have you thought much about trying to find someone on your own? Having an idea of what you're willing to pay for compensation going in would be helpful. I know there are Facebook groups and websites where intended parents can get to know potential surrogates. But to compare… to go indie in the USA will be the same as to go to the agency abroad, I mean financially. The choice is yours.

jess
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:24 am

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by jess » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:38 pm

coby wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:13 pm
Oh Jess! Just because your baby isn't grown inside of you doesn't make you any less connected! Sometimes you just have to be a little creative! Nevermind! The womb is just a stopover- your child's life on this planet will be with you!!! Usually people undergo surrogacy don’t feel disconnected from their children, so don’t worry, as you have a child already, I’m sure that you know how to be a parent.
Oh thanks! I feel way more confident about it now. I will give as much love as I can possibly give. I know myself, and I am sure about that. But I didn’t know the natural side of it. Will I have a maternal instinct to my child, in case if I don’t carry a baby, you understand, right?

jess
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:24 am

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by jess » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:41 pm

JessicaBright wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:20 pm
It is totally okay, don’t worry, hun xx. You should just be ready for that emotionally. I can guarantee, that you will love YOUR child at the first sight, and I am sure your child can feel that. I finished a surrogacy journey 7 years ago in India. I am extremely grateful to a woman, who helped us out. I can tell you even if you're able to go indie in the USA (without an agency), the fertility fees, PGD, meds, monitoring appointments, medical insurance, and legal fees alone will add up quickly. Not to mention maternity clothes or anything else necessary for the pregnancy, that you should cover for your surrogate. Start saving now, start fundraising, look into second jobs is really my best advice. It's costly even without a compensated surrogate. So my advice is to find a country with well-regulated legislation of this issue, because is no longer an option. Good luck! xx
I'm looking into all possible scenarios and hope to find a viable option. The thing is, I just don't want the process to deplete everything I have so when the baby comes, I have nothing. Thanks a lot for your response, Jessica! Now I can see another option, but to be honest, I am scared to go abroad. I do understand that may be a solution for me… a foreign agency… But I have no clue which one to choose. First of all, I have to understand which country should I choose. As I understood India used to be a good choice. What about now? Can anyone help me with that?

jess
Posts: 15
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 11:24 am

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by jess » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:44 pm

windmill wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:25 pm
I am sorry that you're in this situation. I know the pain of wanting a child so badly and having the cost of surrogacy be so outside of your means. We were fortunate to have family step in after a few years and help us get together what we needed to go through an agency so we could be matched with someone. Going independent is an option, but there is a higher risk. Speaking about the agencies, you have to understand that it provides you a legal support. Imagine the situation, when a surrogate doesn’t want to give your child to you or imagine how much papers you have to read to do everything legally right. But agencies are not always the good choice. As for me, it’s not reasonable to address to the US agency, you’d better find something abroad. To avoid additional fees, try to find a private clinic that works like an agency. Have you thought much about trying to find someone on your own? Having an idea of what you're willing to pay for compensation going in would be helpful. I know there are Facebook groups and websites where intended parents can get to know potential surrogates. But to compare… to go indie in the USA will be the same as to go to the agency abroad, I mean financially. The choice is yours.
To be honest, I am confused now. OMG. I don’t want to go abroad, as I don’t feel confident about that. But if I do I can save a pile of dough. I can spend that money for my child. I suggest that my fear may cost me $100 k, or may not… omg! I don’t know… What would you personally recommend?

coby
Posts: 8
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:11 pm

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by coby » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:47 pm

jess wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:38 pm
coby wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:13 pm
Oh Jess! Just because your baby isn't grown inside of you doesn't make you any less connected! Sometimes you just have to be a little creative! Nevermind! The womb is just a stopover- your child's life on this planet will be with you!!! Usually people undergo surrogacy don’t feel disconnected from their children, so don’t worry, as you have a child already, I’m sure that you know how to be a parent.
Oh thanks! I feel way more confident about it now. I will give as much love as I can possibly give. I know myself, and I am sure about that. But I didn’t know the natural side of it. Will I have a maternal instinct to my child, in case if I don’t carry a baby, you understand, right?
No one knows what does the future hold, dear. Although I underwent surrogacy, my lovely boy has always been the closed one, since he was born. I was in something like media in the clinic, where I had a treatment, and I’ve never heard, that girls I knew, had those issues, that you worry about. Just try to be cool with that!

JessicaBright
Posts: 4
Joined: Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:18 pm

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by JessicaBright » Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:51 pm

jess wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:41 pm
JessicaBright wrote:
Mon Feb 12, 2018 2:20 pm
It is totally okay, don’t worry, hun xx. You should just be ready for that emotionally. I can guarantee, that you will love YOUR child at the first sight, and I am sure your child can feel that. I finished a surrogacy journey 7 years ago in India. I am extremely grateful to a woman, who helped us out. I can tell you even if you're able to go indie in the USA (without an agency), the fertility fees, PGD, meds, monitoring appointments, medical insurance, and legal fees alone will add up quickly. Not to mention maternity clothes or anything else necessary for the pregnancy, that you should cover for your surrogate. Start saving now, start fundraising, look into second jobs is really my best advice. It's costly even without a compensated surrogate. So my advice is to find a country with well-regulated legislation of this issue, because is no longer an option. Good luck! xx
I'm looking into all possible scenarios and hope to find a viable option. The thing is, I just don't want the process to deplete everything I have so when the baby comes, I have nothing. Thanks a lot for your response, Jessica! Now I can see another option, but to be honest, I am scared to go abroad. I do understand that may be a solution for me… a foreign agency… But I have no clue which one to choose. First of all, I have to understand which country should I choose. As I understood India used to be a good choice. What about now? Can anyone help me with that?
Try to make your own research. Your final destination will vary according to your exact needs. India is closed for surrogacy now. It was popular, when I needed that, and it was basically OK, but for some reason, the country changed its legislation. Another popular direction now is Africa, but the legislation there is completely unregulated. I may recommend you to look closer to countries like Cyprus, Georgia or Ukraine.

Moonson
Posts: 95
Joined: Wed Oct 18, 2017 12:38 pm

Re: Differences and difficulties of a natural pregnancy and a surrogacy (indie or with an agency)

Post by Moonson » Tue Feb 13, 2018 12:14 pm

With all the advances in medical technology, surrogacy has started to become more common and has been proven to be more safe and successful than other alternative birthing techniques. With this being said, many individuals are now resorting to surrogacy, as an alternative path to parenthood. Like any pregnancy, surrogacy holds the same risks and possibility of unexpected problems. The general assumption that surrogacy holds higher possibilities of risk is nothing but a myth. In fact, surrogacy is as safe as any low-risk natural pregnancy. At Simple Surrogacy, we provide all our potential candidates with a list of requirements that they must meet in order to qualify. Overall, it is safe to say that there is no added risk when it comes to surrogacy. Just like any complications can arise with a normal pregnancy, the same is true for that of surrogacy. Finally, when it comes to the delivery, typically surrogates find that they have more people awaiting the arrival of their little one! The delivery room will be filled with both your support system, your intended parents and their families!

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