Awful day

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Jennifer Harlem
Posts: 1
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 5:14 pm

Awful day

Post by Jennifer Harlem » Thu Oct 19, 2017 5:22 pm

Hello, all.I've had a really terrible day, I'm really tired and emotional and have had a really horrible experience during the day with a truly horrible person so excuse me because I'm just sad.
Anyway, one of my husband's partners called me today in order to congratulate me for my pregnancy.I am mad and sad because I didn't know what to tell him.After I hang up the phone I burst into tears.I lost my precious baby a week ago.I know I'm never going to have that. We will never have that lovely happy moment now. Three miscarriages in and every hint of the line just bring nerves and fear, I don't think I'll ever have the confidence to be calm and happy. Honestly this is all just too sad. I wish I had a magic thing that would just let me know if it's ever going to be okay, or would just let me stop now because I don't know how much more I can take.I really know that If I get pregnant again I will think that it's one of God's jokes.Thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you.Take care.

MichaCat
Posts: 15
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 12:40 pm

Re: Awful day

Post by MichaCat » Fri Oct 20, 2017 9:18 am

Jennifer Harlem wrote:
Thu Oct 19, 2017 5:22 pm
Hello, all.I've had a really terrible day, I'm really tired and emotional and have had a really horrible experience during the day with a truly horrible person so excuse me because I'm just sad.
Anyway, one of my husband's partners called me today in order to congratulate me for my pregnancy.I am mad and sad because I didn't know what to tell him.After I hang up the phone I burst into tears.I lost my precious baby a week ago.I know I'm never going to have that. We will never have that lovely happy moment now. Three miscarriages in and every hint of the line just bring nerves and fear, I don't think I'll ever have the confidence to be calm and happy. Honestly this is all just too sad. I wish I had a magic thing that would just let me know if it's ever going to be okay, or would just let me stop now because I don't know how much more I can take.I really know that If I get pregnant again I will think that it's one of God's jokes.Thank you for letting me share my thoughts with you.Take care.
Hello Jenny. I can not brag with my day either. But its what it is. We have to go through it for our own sake and for those who love us. Esspecialy if you want to get well fast and et your precious one.


You should not hold a grudge on your husdbands friend. He probably did not know and was genuinly happy for you two. Sadly you can not accept congradulations...for now! The day when you recive congradulations with a smile on your face will come.

Dont think like that please! I understand your frustration, but you dont let yourself feell like that. Ok, allow yourself to pitty itself for a moment, but dont go any deeper. Everything is going to be ok. You have to just belive.

Zima
Posts: 12
Joined: Fri Oct 20, 2017 11:09 am

Re: Awful day

Post by Zima » Fri Oct 20, 2017 11:54 am

I agree with Micha. You should not be angry at those who did not know. I am sure he would not have congratulated you if he knew. I mean only a psycho would congratulate you if he knew. It is not bad intention as far as i cansee.
You are young. Have that in mind! You have many fertile years ahead of you darling. Alot of love with your husdband should treat the ill memory of this days. Love him and let him love you.
The pain you feel is real and bad. But you can not let it consume you. Be the person you were before and have a brave face. It is o k to cry, let it out of your system! But do not give up so fast.

Sandra
Posts: 29
Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 4:42 pm

Re: Awful day

Post by Sandra » Sat Oct 21, 2017 5:10 pm

Oh, dear. I see how frustrated you are. I’m really sorry. Your husband’s partner didn’t want to hurt you, I’m sure. He just didn’t know what has happened. You are too sensitive now, that’s why yoy are overreacting. It will take some time to calm down. I’ve also been there. I had 3 miscarriages and then we decided to give up. My body wasn’t ready to get pregnant again. I was tired and exhausted. My husband found the surrogate mother for us and she gave birth to our son. That’s a miracle but we are parents. Stop crying and start looking for solutions. Every infertile woman has a chance to become a mother if she is ready to fight. I’m sure you are strong enough to do it. Go to fertility expert and discuss the options.
My gyno recommended me to find the reproduction center. You can’t even imagine how many clinics we visited. My husband wanted to find the best one. So, we did it. After all the examinations they found the surrogate for us. After the embryo transfer she got pregnant and we relaxed. It was the moment when we understood what’s happened. We were about to become parents. Our dream was coming true. Yes, it was hard sometimes, but we did it. I appreciate my husband for his support. He is my angel. He takes such a good care of our son. I wish you to be as happy as I am now, dear.

Sarah
Posts: 5
Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 1:21 pm

Re: Awful day

Post by Sarah » Sun Oct 22, 2017 2:59 pm

Hello Jenny, i am really feeling it from here. You have done a great thing to share. I believe in sharing as it makes the heart relieved. I understand your situation is a bit emotional. I have a friend who just lost her born child last week. I am afraid she might go through what you are going through too. Her husband has not yet told anybody what is going on. I fear the workmates may ask her about the baby when she returns. Sometimes sharing the situation you are in with those who are close to you can be important to avoid being flashed back where you really don't want to be.

Beats95
Posts: 18
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:14 pm

Re: Awful day

Post by Beats95 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:47 pm

I want to cheer you up. Even for a bit. I have had the same sad experience last year. Since that time I have learned a few things.
First, miscarriages are much more common than most people think. It's possible that as many as 4 in 5 pregnancies are miscarried. Often before the woman even knows she's pregnant.

Women who have one known miscarriage and then try again have a 95% chance of conceiving. Those who have two known miscarriages and then try again have a 75% chance of conceiving. That sounds great! And very inspiring!

Recurrent miscarriages (more than three in a row) are fairly rare, impacting about 1 in 100 women. Although I know one. She had 4 miscarriages but has a cute girl.
As you see, your chances to conceive again are pretty good.
So, cheer up and lead a healthy lifestyle, do not lift anything heavy, calm down and do not give up. Do not hurry to conceive again.
Good luck!

jabill
Posts: 42
Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:58 pm

Re: Awful day

Post by jabill » Mon Oct 23, 2017 4:34 pm

Hi Jenifer, I know you must be feeling really awful. With so many "horribles" mentioned in your post I can understand how you feel. Don't be disheartened, honey. It is part of married life. My sister-in-law had three miscarriages before having two healthy children. Try again, you shall conceive one day. Being a mother is all about lots of struggles and this is one of those. We all on this platform awaits a good news from you. Have a good day:).

KateX
Posts: 24
Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 10:27 am

Re: Awful day

Post by KateX » Tue Oct 24, 2017 11:17 pm

Hi @Jennifer Harlem. So sorry to know that.. it is really sad.
I agree with the others.. you shouldn't take it on your husband's friend. Most likely he wasn't updated and he was trying to be nice.
I'm sure you will be able to overcome this bad moment. Please don't give up in making your dream come true.
Miracles happen. And I'm sure you will be able to get pregnant again.
There is always hope.
Wishing you the best x

spyder02
Posts: 170
Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2017 2:52 pm

Re: Awful day

Post by spyder02 » Sun Oct 29, 2017 2:16 pm

Hello dear friend! I am deeply moved by your story. Sincerely feeling sorry that you are going through this. The man who called you probably didn't knew about what happened. I know it is hard but try to understand him... The right way to loom at this is that he was trying to help. I hope that by now you are feeling better and that you can see this too. Also dont say that about God... He doenst make jokes out of people. Even if he did, hes sense of humor wouldnt be this fucked up. You cannot say for sure that youll go through this again. Who knows maybe next time youll make it. Keep your chin high dear, you have fought bravely until now. I am super proud of you, everybody that loves you should feel this way. This is no time to give up. We all face difficulties but only those who can smile and continue are able to succeed. I am sure that you are one of those people.

Queen
Posts: 80
Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 2:18 pm

Re: Awful day

Post by Queen » Tue Oct 31, 2017 2:29 pm

Hi Jenifer, I am so sorry. It saddens me when I see a fellow woman lose her unborn child. I think it could have been better if one was not pregnant at all. Like why raise my hopes high then get disappointed. In your case, yours is worse. It feel like you had already told some people the good news. Then after the miscarriage some people still are congratulating you. I know how hard it is to break the bad news. I really understand your situation. With the news that this is not the first miscarriage, you must be feeling worse. However I would advise you to go and see a doctor. It might be something serious than you thin. There are various reasons why people have consecutive miscarriages. First, there might be something wrong with your uterus. Second, you are suffering from immunity issues. Go and see a doctor to see where the real problem lies. From there you can start treatment and hope for the best.

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