family is destroyed

This is a place to discuss some general themes such as financing your journey, fertility treatment 35+ etc.
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Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2017 12:25 pm

family is destroyed

Post by lina » Mon Oct 23, 2017 11:29 am

Hello. Now I'm very sad, I'm very worried about my sister. I want to tell you her story. For 15 years she and her husband went to clinics, they were treated for infertility. But her husband was not treated, but my sister did both hysteroscopy and laparoscopy, many girls know what I'm talking about. The cause was not found .... And the next procedure of IVF brought the long-awaited result. The entire pregnancy from the first day to the last day she lay in hospitals. She seemed to be one with a hospital bed and a dropper. Her spring, summer and autumn passed in the hospital. She was very sad, she was depressed. But she gave birth to a baby, she thought that at last she was happy! But she was mistaken, her husband seemed to be replaced. He used to be a gentle, loving man, and now he screams and throws objects at her. She is very tired with the baby. And now her husband quit his job and sits at home. He can not find a new job, because he does not know how to praise himself. He's a lawyer. They live on a child's allowance in the grandmother's apartment and he still lets himself scream at her. Girls, what a shame !! My sister is thinking about divorce. But what can you advise her?

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Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 1:14 pm

Re: family is destroyed

Post by Beats95 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 3:19 pm

A typical sad story, I even do not know what to advise your sister. At this time all attention should be concentrated on the baby. I have never suffered such treatment. I have two boys, my husband helps me when he is able. I wish her to be strong. A delivery very often gives a mom unprecedented forces. To remain a keystone of a family. If she gives up all can go apart.

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Joined: Sun Oct 22, 2017 2:52 pm

Re: family is destroyed

Post by spyder02 » Mon Oct 23, 2017 7:10 pm

Living with somebody that abuses you isn't living. We cannot provide a perfect solution here deary. I am super sorry for that. You sister has been through enough. Her story is heartbreak and it brought tears to my eyes. Sometimes there are things in life that no matter how unfair they are, they just won't go away. The problem with your sister runs deep. It's sad but it's the truth, it seems that most of her life has been super hard. She has been through a fucking lot as of right now... When people like her continue to go through harshness... It's jsut fucked up beyond repair. Your sister should immediately fille for divorce. It would be the right thing to do. She has been through enough and a douchebag is the least thing she needs or deserves. Wish things sort out quickly. Do update us with further occurrences.

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Joined: Tue Oct 24, 2017 6:31 am

Re: family is destroyed

Post by Katie1777 » Tue Oct 24, 2017 6:39 am

Hi, how are you doing? I hope you are doing great. So sorry to hear your sister's story. I very much understand how tough it is to go thru infertility. So, your sister has been grappling with infertility for 15 years. I can imagine the heavy toll it must have taken on her. My heart goes out to your sister. Exacerbating the problems, her husband is unemployed. How sad that must be? It is very difficult to advise someone unless you are in their shoes. I wish them good luck! Also, remember, whatever advice you give her, don't sound patronizing. It will only make the problems worse. So, take that into consideration. I have heard of people dealing with infertility for 10 years, but 15 is way too much. I wish the best of luck. I hope her husband get his job back as soon as possible. Infertility is bad, without the right sources it gets only worse.

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Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 9:29 am

Re: family is destroyed

Post by FunBarb » Tue Oct 24, 2017 12:02 pm

My advice is to stop thinking about a divorce and concentrate on a baby. Divorce is the last step to do. Very often a man gets confused by a birth of a baby. New responsibilities, all attention is on a baby, etc. I have twins, girls 7 y.o. Although, never had problems with husband. My friends had. But must say, after a divorce all of they lost. So, let your sister be wise and sound.

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Joined: Thu Oct 19, 2017 7:37 am

Re: family is destroyed

Post by martina » Tue Oct 24, 2017 2:35 pm

Hello, I advise your sister to divorce her husband. Firstly, it's her grandmother's apartment, so she will not have problems with housing. Secondly, her husband does not earn money, they live on child allowance. And this means that she will not have to spend this allowance on her husband. Thirdly, your sister is still a young girl, she can find a good man and get married for the second time. And most importantly, she will not have to endure the humiliation of a male loser. Although, I can not call him a man, I just can not do it, I hope you understand me. I'm at a loss why he lets himself scream at the woman who gave birth to his baby. In addition, he knows how many difficulties she had to overcome. She lay in the hospital all pregnancy. I do not understand why he behaves this way. He's an educated man, he's a lawyer. Perhaps he no longer loves her?

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Joined: Fri Oct 27, 2017 11:02 am

Re: family is destroyed

Post by Liza9 » Fri Oct 27, 2017 2:48 pm

I am sorry to say but you and your family is being mean to your sister. Bring her home. Why have you leave her with a retard? Her husband needs help. Take him to mental hospital. If you know how much she has suffered all her life then what are you guys waiting for? She only needs comfort and love. Once she get that she can survive on her own. Be quick with your actions please.

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Joined: Mon Oct 23, 2017 12:58 pm

Re: family is destroyed

Post by jabill » Fri Oct 27, 2017 10:24 pm

Madam instead of writing for your Sister. Give her a safe place at your home. You guys should have sued him. He is a psychological case.

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Joined: Sat Oct 21, 2017 4:42 pm

Re: family is destroyed

Post by Sandra » Mon Oct 30, 2017 4:30 pm

Your sister will figure out what to do. Your task is to be a good sister. Help her with the baby or about the house. Bring her to your house, if she wants. Let her talk to you whenever she wants. She should feel safe near you. You don’t have a power to change her life. If her husband is that awful – they will divorce. But you are not allowed to tell her what to do. She is a big girl. It should be her decision. If she divorces because you told her, this will be your fault. That’s why I recommend you to stay away from her family but to keep an eye on your sister. You just have to be sure that she is fine. Good luck to both of you, girls.

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Joined: Sat Nov 04, 2017 8:34 am

Re: family is destroyed

Post by froggy » Sat Nov 04, 2017 12:01 pm

You shall advise your sister to be calm. It's a very small issue. No need to make it that big. Tell not to be over dramatic. Everything going's to be fine. Tell her to be patient. I hope that her problem gets solved easily.

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